A Million Golden Pennies Worth

My Mother and Her God

Tears spiraled uncontrollably down her cheeks as she sat stiff in a pew in the empty church. 

She didn't even know what church it was. It was the reason for her problems so it was the first place she thought to come to when everything finally got out of control. 

The tears turned into sobs and sniffles. She didn't have a handkerchief so everything flowed freely on her face, from her eyes and nose. 

The words that would haunt her for the rest of her life played over and over in her head. 

"I can't do this any more Ruth. We've been married five years and I still don't know what it feels like to be married. I am leaving Ruth, I am sorry. I thought I could do it but I can't. I can't go on" 

These past five years have been hell she can't deny. But it was a better hell than the one she would be plunged into if he left her. What would she do without him? 

Sobs racked out of her, causing her shoulders to quake. Beyond her grief she was also filled with a lot of anger. 

Her mother had ruined her life. She had controlled everything, she had run everything, all in the name of God and she had stupidly let her. Now the only good thing that ever happened to her in all her miserable life was about to leave her. They had met six years ago when she was a year away from graduating from high school. He had understood her, he had loved her. They had been married a year later, which was one of the very few things she had ever done to defy her mother. George had loved her despite her mother's interference in their lives. He had been patient and never let her apologise. But it seems even he had a limit. 

She was filled with so much hate and anger. 

She knew she was a wuss. She wanted to go and tell her mother how much she hated her and her God, how they had ruined her life but she knew she would probably cave in when her mum hushed her and reprimanded her for uttering blasphemy. 

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"Hello" 

Then a handkerchief appeared in front of her face. 

She took it and blew noisily into it. She felt warmth on her side as he sat down. 

She did not look up but just nodded her thanks. 

Her hair was a mess. A mass of frizzy auburn curls, she obviously had not had time to straighten and prim it before coming out. In fact she looked like something a cat spit out, with grizzly hair, no make up and house cleaning clothes. She had run out of he House before the words fully came out of George's mouth. 

"I hope you don't mind" The deep gentle voice beside her said. 

She nodded again and blew into the handkerchief. 

"My name is Craig. Craig Henley. I am the pastor here" 

She looked up abruptly. He looked really young and he was handsome with short black hair and deep brown eyes. They weren't grave or solemn looking, just gentle. She would have thought he was just a member of the church. He didn't strike her as a pastor and he had said hello instead of what ails you child. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

She didn't 

He sat quietly at her side while she cried herself out. It may have been half an hour or more. But he did not say anything. He just sat there waiting for her to finish wallowing in her grief. 

Who did he think he was? Pretending to be all patient and righteous. By the time he heard her story, he would probably condemn her and quote her Mother's favorite bible verse 'Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long' and tell her that her mother was right and she was a sinner to think otherwise.